Alicia Keys

I remember being about five years old sitting in the backseat of my moms car at the stoplight of an intersection in Lubbock, Texas when I first heard Alicia Keys. It was the summer of 2004 and her album, The Diary of Alicia Keys, had just debuted in December of 2003. We had just left the McDonalds drive-thru and I had a big sweaty cup of the greatly missed, Orange LavaBurst Hi-C, cupped in my hands. The car filled with the sound of fingers cascading up and down the keys of a piano and my mom immediately turned up the volume while yelling, “Mm! I love Alicia!”. I guess I can pinpoint the beginning of my love for Alicia Keys to that hot afternoon during the intro of her song, If I Ain’t Got You.

I recently started reading her book, More Myself, and I think I’ve learned equally as much about myself as I have Alicia. I was able to relate to much of what she wrote about and the things she experienced. More specifically, her relationship with her father, Craig. In her book, she talks about the letter she wrote to her father when she was 14 and I felt every feeling she expressed to her father. I never really knew my father either. The first time I met him was at a Dairy Queen in Lubbock right before my 10th birthday. It was old and dingy with one of those inside playgrounds that smell like feet yet kids seem to love. My mom and I sat in a battered red booth all the way in the back corner and waited for him to arrive. I was so excited to meet him, but all I can seem to remember about that day is how he continued his life so easily without having a second thought of me. He got married and had many other kids and yet the only one he didn’t know or have contact with was me. There were so many promises he made that day, but little did I know they were just words with no intended action. In Alicia's letter she wrote, “I don't want the fake acts that you pull to try and make me think you care… I don’t want anything.”. I grew up trying to comprehend the emotions that come along with trying to understand the abandonment of a parent. I grew weary and resentful and I felt very much the same as 14 year old Alicia. To this day, I will not enter that Dairy Queen.

As far as my own journey with learning more about myself and how to love who I am, Alicia has been a major part in this evolving experience. Before her book was released, I read about her solo trip to Egypt. During a time when she felt stressed and so far from herself, she took a trip to Egypt by herself. Not very long ago, I was also in a place where I felt the need to get away and be completely by myself. Obviously, a big-time struggling college student couldn’t afford a trip to Egypt, but I’d been wanting to go to Colorado. I wanted to go hiking and be outside in the fresh air with mountains and all the beautiful rocky formations surrounding me. So I went. 10/10 recommend solo traveling. Alicia mentioned that her trip to Egypt left her with her spirit's deep rejuvenation and that's exactly how I felt. There's a sense of peace while being with yourself in a new and exquisite place.

Alicia talks about how she presented herself in the music industry and, even though her own identity was shaken at times, she still managed to be headstrong. She fought for herself and tried hard to stay true to her own image. The graphic for this blog was inspired by her persistent style of fashioning her hair in braids. In her book, she mentions that she was anxious about how she should style her hair and whether she should take out the braids and straighten it. I love the fact she stayed true to who she was. She didn't waver when it came to her hair, clothing and especially not her music. During her short time with Columbia, they expected Alicia to shift not only her music, but her entire image completely. “They wanted my mass of curls blown straight and flowing down my back. They wanted me to lose weight… They wanted me, the tomboy from Hell’s Kitchen, to become the next teen pop idol. In short, they wanted to alter my identity.” Before she had even become very well known, there were people who were trying to change who she was. Later on in her book, she wrote that even though she hadn’t owned her music at the time she still had control over who she was - who the person and artist she truly was. I think this was valuable for her to learn early on because, once she became famous, she mentions she had moments of impulse to change who she was to please the expectations of society. After her first appearance on Jay Leno, she mentions how she dissected and analyzed her performance. She thought she should’ve worn different clothes or straightened her hair or even spoke differently. I love that even though she had these thoughts, she remained true to herself. I believe that everyone goes through many moments of self-doubt and, at some point, feels the impulse to change who they are just to fit into society's expectations of what is beautiful and desirable.

Alicia stepped foot in the music industry when she was 14 years old. Over her 25 years in the business, Alicia has sold over 22 million albums in the United States and over 42 million albums across the world. She has released 40 singles and 9 promotional singles during her time proceeding music and I’m sure there are many more to come. She has earned 15 Grammy’s and has been nominated for countless awards. Aside from making music, Alicia has also dedicated her time and money into being an activist for families with HIV and AIDS in Africa. She co-founded the non-profit, Keep a Child Alive, in 2003.

My favorite songs of hers include; Like You’ll Never See Me Again, Lovin U, and How Come You Don’t Call Me, which is a cover of Prince’s song. The original version by Prince gives me goosebumps every time and it’s very hard to pick which of the versions is my favorite. I wish they could have collaborated - what a song that would have been. Her first 2 albums make me feel nostalgic and bring me back to the day I was sitting in the backseat of my moms car sipping on that Hi-C. The one thing I can say about all of her albums is that they make me feel powerful and true to myself. You can feel the passion she has in each and every one of her songs.

Listen to the playlist I compiled Here.